Home of the 205th Desert Warriors
 
HomePortalCalendarFAQSearchMemberlistUsergroupsRegisterLog in

Share | 
 

 Diaries: Dog vs. Cat

Go down 
AuthorMessage
oceansaber
Colonel
Colonel



PostSubject: Diaries: Dog vs. Cat   Sun May 24, 2009 5:16 am

The Dog's Diary:

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


The Cat's Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Jerks!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
EndOfTheLine1
1st Lieutenant
1st Lieutenant
avatar


PostSubject: Re: Diaries: Dog vs. Cat   Sun May 24, 2009 6:18 am

xD That is probably true too

Yay ocean's jokes are alive and well!!!

_________________
LOL my neighbor's wifi

It's called an air crack!
Back to top Go down
View user profile
DaRkZassasinZ
Gunnery Sergeant
Gunnery Sergeant
avatar


PostSubject: Re: Diaries: Dog vs. Cat   Sun May 24, 2009 1:14 pm

lol the dog was probably retarded lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! that made me laugh the cat is smart the dog is a dumbass lol
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: Diaries: Dog vs. Cat   

Back to top Go down
 
Diaries: Dog vs. Cat
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
 :: Misc. :: Jokes-
Jump to: