johnny is back
Little Johnny... Finding Jesus1.A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?"
Steven raises his hand and says, "He's in Heaven."
Mary answers, "He's in my heart."
Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, "He's in our bathroom!"
The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.
"Well," Little Johnny says, "every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!'"
Little Johnny's Subsitute Teacher2.Little Johnny was walking down the hallway at school. When he reaches his classroom he looks inside and sees a sub instead of his regular teacher. Johnny sits down and the teacher says, “Now students, my name is Ms. Prussy. Not the other word, this word has an r after the first letter.” Johnny started laughing. An hour later he forgot her name and said, “Your name has an r after the first letter -- is it Ms. Crunt?”
Little Johnny... Fascinate3.A teacher asks her students to give her a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it. A little girl says, "Walt Disney World is fascinating."
The teacher says, "No, I said, 'fascinate.'"
Another little girl says, "There's so much fascination when it comes to sea life."
The teacher again says, "No, the word is fascinate."
Little Johnny yells from the back of the room, "My mom has such big boobs that she can only fasten eight of the 10 buttons on her shirt."
Little Johnny And Santy Claus4.Dear Santa:
You must be surprised
that I am writing you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the begining of this year, when filled with illusion, I wrote you my letter. I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of rollerblades, and a football uniform.
I destroyed my brain studying the whole year. Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school. I am not going to lie to you, there was no one in my entire neighborhood that behaved better than me with my parents, my brothers, my friends, and my neighbors. I would go on errands, and even help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing that I would not do for humanity.
So what balls do you have leaving me a fucking yo-yo, a stupid whistle and a pair of socks? What the fuck were you thinking, you fat son-of-a-bitch, that you've taken me for a sucker the whole fucking year to come out with some shit like this under the tree! As if you hadn't fucked me enough, you gave the little jerkhead across the street so many toys that he can't even walk into his house!
Please don't let me see you trying to fit your big fat ass down my chimney next year or I'll fuck you up. I'll throw rocks at those stupid reindeer and scare them away so that you'll have to walk back to the fucking North Pole, just like I have to do now since you didn't get me that fucking bike. FUCK YOU SANTA. Next year you'll find out how bad I can be, you FAT-SON-OF-A-BITCH.
Sincerely,
Little Johnny
